The other morning I got stuck behind a garbage truck making its early rounds. Realizing I wasn’t going anywhere fast, I took in the sights of my waking neighborhood.
As the garbage truck heaved and grunted, outstretching its metal arms to lift and dump garbage into its gaping trunk, I noticed a pajama-clad mother and her toddler daughter standing on their dewy lawn.
The little girl was jumping up and down, shrieking with delight at the garbage truck’s gymnastics. Watching more closely, I noticed the garbage truck driver and the little girl were playing a game. Between each can, the driver lowered the truck’s metal arms and clapped them in the air, mechanically saying hello to the little girl, who shrieked some more, jumped again, and clapped back.
The garbage truck rumbled down the street, and the mother and the girl waved goodbye, turning to go back into the warmth of their house. I already felt toasty inside.
For a few moments, the horrible news of the world receded, and I found meaning in the connection between a mother, a daughter, and a garbage truck driver.
Could finding meaning in difficult times be so simple? So ordinary?
We find meaning in tragedy by recognizing meaningful moments, says David Kessler, a psychologist and author of “Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief.”
For me, connection with friends, family, and even strangers grounds a whirling, chaotic world and makes me feel a sense of belonging that’s easily lost during difficulty.
For you, what’s meaningful might be something entirely different. Maybe it’s going for walks in nature. Maybe it’s taking action, volunteering for a political cause, or organizing food delivery for the elderly in your neighborhood. Or maybe it’s making a mental habit of finding the good in the bad that matters most.
Whatever it is that matters to you when you pay attention to it, you affirm its importance. And you remember where the meaning in your life lies.
All of this takes a keen eye and a willingness to be mindful. It also requires receptivity.
I could have stewed in my car and impatiently tapped my fingers on the steering wheel as I waited behind the garbage truck that morning. Before I discovered mindfulness, I did that and lots of other agitated things. But mindfulness has taught me to slow down. It’s taught me to pay attention to the many ordinary moments that comprise my life. And in doing so, I’ve found meaning even in difficult times.
Here are three mindfulness-based perspectives and practices that can help you slow down and find more meaning in the ordinary moments of your day:
Break the Spell: Human beings are habitual by nature. Social scientists say that as much as 40% of what we do is automatic. That’s marvelous. We can brush our teeth or send a text without learning how to do it over and over again. But automaticity vanquishes meaning. Slowing down and doing an activity, mindfully infuses it with fulfillment. Next time you brush your teeth, take your time and notice how the toothpaste tube feels in your hand. Taste the minty freshness of your toothpaste and connect with the act of caring that brushing your teeth confers. When you attend to such small moments throughout the day, it lays the foundation for finding meaning in the ordinary.
Mindfully Reflect: Because we’re so habitual, many of us aren’t aware of what brings meaning into our lives. Take a few moments and with pen and paper, reflect and write down the things that make your life worthwhile. Some of the activities that make the list might not be easy or joyous. Caring for a friend who has cancer, for example, is hard and laced with sadness. But it’s meaningful.
Find Stillness: One of the benefits of a daily mindfulness practice is that it quiets the external world. Inside, our minds and bodies it might be very noisy. But by hearing the noise within us, we learn what’s worth listening to and what, in turn, might be most meaningful to us. Thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, whether they’re pleasant or unpleasant, are like an internal GPS, guiding us to our true north.
This blog originally appeared on eMindful.com. To learn more about eMindful’s interactive online and mobile mindfulness programs visit https://emindful.com/home/
On My Mind
Sometimes instead of searching for meaning, we need a delightful distraction from difficulty.
Fortunately, there are plenty of options. And often the ingenuity and artistry of others lifts my spirits and reminds me of how much beauty we’re all capable of creating.
Sometimes instead of searching for meaning, we need a delightful distraction from difficulty.