Not far from my house is a public playground called Aidan’s Place that’s as big of a draw for kids as an ice cream truck on a hot summer day. Slides, swings, climbing structures, and an enormous shaded sandpit bring families from all economic and racial backgrounds, creating a melting pot of play and joy. But what makes Aidan’s Place unique isn’t diversity – it’s inclusivity. Inspired by a boy named Aidan who had a rare muscular disorder that left him confined to a wheelchair, all of the playground’s equipment is universally accessible and inclusive. Inclusivity has been on my mind lately as we celebrate PRIDE month – a time when millions of people around the world gather to uplift and support the LGBTQ community – and because of Juneteenth which commemorates the end of slavery in the United States. Both PRIDE month and Juneteenth are deeply rooted in history. PRIDE month occurs in June because of the Stonewall uprising in June 1969 in New York City when police raided a gay bar, sparking riots and giving rise to a modern-day gay rights movement. Juneteenth – short for June 19th – is the day in 1865 when federal troops arrived in Galveston, Texas to ensure freedom for all enslaved individuals. Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation two and a half years earlier, but it didn’t immediately mean freedom for many Blacks as it applied only to Confederate-controlled areas. Re-evaluating Inclusivity While the pandemic has curtailed some of the parades, celebrations, and symposiums, the month of June still gives us the opportunity to honor LGBTQ and Black communities. It also gives us a chance to learn more about diversity and equity and to ask ourselves: Are we inclusive? “Diversity is being invited to the party; inclusivity is being asked to dance,” says Verna Myers, whose consultancy teaches organizations about issues such as unconscious bias and anti-racism. Inclusivity isn’t just about recognizing each other’s differences; it’s about being empathetic, participatory and dignifying, and respecting everyone. Many of us may not be aware of the biases – subtle or otherwise – we have toward others. We also may not have put ourselves in the shoes of those who have been discriminated against and marginalized. In both cases, mindfulness can help us investigate our limiting beliefs and open our hearts to others. Rising Above Personal Biases Through Mindfulness   Like a coin with two sides – one that supports insight and the other compassion – we can use our mindfulness practice to see more clearly how we exclude rather than include and notice the moments when our hearts close instead of open. In our daily lives, we can observe the thoughts, emotions, and sensations that arise when interacting with others and notice how they affect our behavior. Do we reserve eye contact or a smile for those who are most like us? Do we treat everyone we meet the same? Just like mindfulness, inclusivity is a practice – one we can undertake with a willingness to see and rise above our biases and extend kindness to everyone. If you’d like to learn more about PRIDE Month and Juneteenth, check out the links in this blog. You also can open your heart to others and foster more inclusivity through the following mindfulness exercise, based on meditation teacher Mirabai Bush’s Just Like Me practice: Find a quiet and comfortable place to sit and bring to mind someone you casually know or come across in your daily life – the cashier at the grocery store, the Amazon delivery person, or a neighbor you pass on the street. With this person in mind, repeat the following phrases:  Just like me, this person has a body and mind filled with thoughts, feelings, and emotions  Just like me, this person has experienced physical, mental, and emotional pain.  Just like me, this person has been afraid, disappointed, or lonely.  Just like me, this person wants to be safe and healthy.  Just like me, this person wishes to be happy. They want to be loved.   Now, continue the practice by bringing to mind someone who is different from you and repeating the same phrases. This blog originally appeared on eMindful.com

Grudges don’t have to be big to be burdensome. Even small, unforgiven slights can weigh us down like an overpacked carry-on. Think about the time your spouse snored relentlessly through the night, wrecking your sleep before a big presentation, or about the sibling who missed your birthday. How about the mechanic who found one too many things wrong with your car after you’d left it at the shop? Still chafing? Still stoking embers of resentment? If so, it might be time to forgive – and if not forget – at least let go. What it Really Means to Forgive For years, I thought forgiveness was for life’s big emotional blows. I read stories about mothers who softened their hearts toward drunk drivers who maimed or killed their children. I read about Nelson Mandela’s immense act of forgiveness toward his imprisoners. I read lofty quotes about forgiveness, and I wondered: Could I ever live up to such vaulted ideals? Then, it occurred to me that forgiveness isn’t like a set of fine china. It’s like an everyday coffee cup –serviceable and reliably handy. “Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it’s a constant attitude,” said Martin Luther King Jr. King’s quote is inspiring. It’s also practical. It prompts us to bring mindfulness into everyday moments of hurt and consider whether we can forgive others as well as ourselves. Doing so is nuanced practice. Forgiveness is both a decision and an emotional process. The Benefits of Forgiveness Nonetheless, we can decide how to treat those we feel wronged us by not acting out, withdrawing, or seeking payback. We also can become aware of our emotional reactions whenever we’re wounded and work to transform our anger into compassion and empathy. Of course, none of this is easy. Research says that despite the benefits of forgiveness, which include everything from lowering heart attack risk to reducing anxiety and anger, many people struggle to put forgiveness into practice. Sometimes grudges against others are difficult to dislodge. Forgiving yourself is nettlesome, too. Forgiving Yourself and Forgiving Others Meditation teacher JoAnna Hardy has said she once practiced self-forgiveness for a year, silently repeating the phrase – “May I forgive myself” – before getting out of bed in the morning. Her model of forgiveness practice has stayed with me for years, helping me soften my self-criticism. As for others, I’ve adopted the coffee-cup approach, taking forgiveness down from the shelf and using it in daily life (See Below) with friends who snub me by not returning phone calls or texts and drivers who cut me off in traffic. Forgiveness also has been a salve for long-lasting hurts too painful to name. If you’d like to forgive and let go the following framework based on psychologist Everett Worthington’s REACH model is a wonderful way to put forgiveness into practice. Recall: Recall the hurt. Acknowledge the injury without treating yourself like a victim or the other person like a jerk. Empathize: Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Altruistic gift: Consider forgiveness a charitable gift even if the offender doesn’t seem worthy. Commit: Commit to the act of forgiving, repeating a phrase such as: “I forgive them” or “I forgive myself.” Hold onto forgiveness: Forgiveness is a process and a practice. Silently repeating the above phrases during seated meditation or lying in bed before your day begins keeps forgiveness in your heart. This blog originally appeared on eMindful.com

On My Mind   Many people come to meditation to settle their busy minds and find an island of calm within the storm of their anxiety. But meditation doesn’t fix a busy mind. It doesn’t get rid of anxiety. It does something more profound. Practicing meditation changes our relationship with our addled minds and frayed nerves. It teaches us to no longer view them as problems to solve but experiences – unpleasant or otherwise – that come and go and that we can tolerate if not embrace. Author Marc Hamer relays this far more lyrically in his lovely book: Seed to Dust, Life, Nature, And a Country Garden. Hamer writes: “Developing a calm mind is like building a relationship with a cat. If you try to make it come to you, it will run further away; if you chase after it, it will hide; but if you sit quietly, keep an eye on it and appear ready, it will come to you, and it may stay or it may go, but a relationship will have been created and a stronger one is more likely, the more you sit and practice.”

The other day I looked out my home office window and spied a single, pink poppy turning its luminous head toward the sun.

“Where did you come from?” I murmured to myself.

I had forgotten that during a rainy period last December, I pressed poppy seeds into the soft soil in my backyard. It was an act of faith amid a winter made all the more dreary by the pandemic. And it was gratifying to see Mother Nature hadn’t let me down.

Spring is eternal and, yet, we take its life-affirming arrival for granted. It’s easy to miss the changing of the seasonal guards – that subtle period when the effervescence of springtime bubbles up and the plodding gray of winter recedes.

Like the first steps in a celebratory parade, a few timid blossoms appear and then become a celebration of color in the garden. Before long, the sun is shining more often than not, and we’ve traded in our wool socks for flip-flops.

It’s worth paying attention to the start of spring’s procession and reveling in its arrival – full of growth, possibility, and hope.

“Spring will come, and so will happiness,” wrote author Anita Krizan. “Hold on. Life will get warmer.”

While there’s no guarantee the circumstances of our lives will change favorably along with the weather, we can use the momentum of the season to renew ourselves and recharge.

We can look back, without self-recrimination or shame, and reflect on whether we’ve kept the promises we made to ourselves and others in the New Year.

Have we shed our dreaded COVID 15 pounds? Have we quit smoking like we told our kids we would? Maybe we made a quiet vow to be kinder to ourselves and others, but have lapsed quite humanly into irritability. Maybe we just need to pause and forgive ourselves for our failings, acknowledging that some habits, like seeds planted in a backyard, need time to take root.

Whatever intention we set at the start of the year, springtime allows us to renew our commitment, change course or look ahead to where we might now want to go. Spring beckons us to throw open the windows and let in a fresh breeze of perspective. It beckons us to begin again.

Meditation practice gives us an experiential base from which to do so. Every time our mind wanders from our chosen object of focus – the breath, sounds around us, or a softly repeated phrase – we gently reclaim our focus and begin anew.

With the lift of spring in our step, we also can do so in our daily lives and give shape to whatever our hearts may still need or want for the rest of the year. Here are three ways you can use the elevating energy of springtime and your mindfulness practice to renew and recharge:

Lighten Up: Wintertime is serious business. It’s about hunkering down and laying low. But springtime is as playful as a puppy. The comedian Robin Williams once quipped that spring is nature’s way of saying: “Let’s party!” And the warmer weather and brighter days invite us to lighten up – if only for a few moments or an afternoon. We can invite a bit of inner springtime by adopting a more playful or curious attitude toward ourselves, our lives, and even the things that challenge us. Next time you feel heavy-hearted, look out the window for signs of spring and remember that everything is always changing. You might also want to plan a party.

Take it In: Springtime is bursting with a sensory bouquet of sounds, sights, and smells. All of which can fill us with joy and hope. When you head outdoors for a walk, turn it into a mindfulness practice and notice the lilting tune of birdsong, the Crayola box of colors surrounding you, or the fresh scent of your neighbor’s just-cut lawn. As you do so, pay attention to any accompanying feelings or sensations arising within you. The gentle warmth you feel upwelling in your chest, throat, or face might be happiness. And if it is, it’s worth soaking it in like a bluebird sipping water from a fountain.

Begin Again: We can use springtime as a seasonal reference point to start anew with anything we’ve attempted but faltered with or forgotten. There’s a prevailing myth that progress is constant and ascending. In truth, progress happens in fits and starts. Like roots supporting a plant, progress often quietly grows beneath the surface of our lives – it’s evidence emerging with time. Spring gives us yet another opportunity to plant a new seed of intention and patiently wait for what might grow from our renewed efforts.

My 21-year-old cat Peter is a testimony to a feline life well lived. He’s escaped more than a few fights with the neighborhood pride, as well as near misses with screeching car tires. But mostly he’s lived his life in blissful, languid leisure. In his remarkably old age, though, he’s become cantankerous and as finicky as…well, a cat. He’s also terribly whiny. When Peter caterwauls at 5 a.m., 6 a.m., or 7 a.m. – I’m still drowsy, so I don’t know what time it is – and demands food, my first reaction isn’t: “Poor, sweet, hungry baby.” It’s: “Shut up!”  I am, in a word: impatient. It’s not a good look, no matter how early the hour. Impatience is a fire hydrant of reactivity. It’s primes the pump for lashing out at those you love and those you don’t know – the nameless who cut you off in traffic, keep you on hold, or botch your take-out order. We all know patience is a virtue. But putting it into practice isn’t easy. Even Aristotle said: “Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.” No matter how difficult it is to do, opening your heart and becoming more patient is exceedingly worthwhile, particularly during an unrelenting pandemic that has stretched our tolerance as thin as paper. Research shows that patient people tend to experience fewer bouts of depression, negative emotions, and fewer health problems. They also exude empathy and gratitude. How do we cultivate the ability to wait calmly in the face of frustration or adversity? Understanding and mindfulness help. Let’s start with a bit of understanding. Some people are born with more patience, just like some of us are born with a talent for languages, music, or athleticism. Most of us know someone who is effortlessly unflappable, and some of us are even lucky enough to live with them. Patience also is variable. So, don’t be too hard on yourself if you’re foot tapping while waiting in line at the post office. If you’re hungry or haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep, you’ll be far less tolerant of long lines or other people’s foibles. Yet, we can all learn to become more patient. At least that’s what Baylor University professor Sarah Schnitker found when she studied 71 undergraduate students who went through patience training that involved identifying emotional triggers, learning to regulate emotions, and empathize with others, along with learning to meditate. After the two-week training, study participants reported that they were indeed more patient. Schnitker also discovered that patience is nuanced and comes in categories such as dealing with life’s significant adversities, small daily hassles, or dealing with other people. We might be patient in one category, but not another. Either way, mindfulness can help. Through mindfulness, we can become aware of what sparks our impatience. We can learn to work with our frustration and irritability as it arises and respond rather than react to the circumstances in our lives. We can even learn to become so patient that when our cat wakes us up in the wee hours of the morning, we’re more than happy to hop out of bed and crack open a can of Fancy Feast. In the meantime, while you’re working on becoming a model of forbearance, here are three ways mindfulness can help: Tune Into Your Body: The body is not only miraculous; it’s highly communicative. It tells you when you’re feeling agitated and upset. And these emotions come with bodily sensations that give you clues that your impatience is outweighing your composure. Whenever that happens, pause, take a breath, and feel your feet on the ground. Allow your body to soften and create more space for impatience to move through you before acting upon it. Somebody Else’s Shoes: Sometimes, being patient is simply a matter of giving someone else the benefit of the doubt and imagining what it might be like to be in their shoes. The person who cuts you off in traffic might be rushing to the emergency room. The person who puts you on hold is likely doing their best. And my poor cat Peter isn’t trying to give me a hard time; he’s just trying to get his need met by meowing (very loudly.) Meditate: Meditation is training in patience. As we sit in silence, attending to the breath or sound or sensations in our body, we learn to be with things as they are. In the process, we become more tolerant of the chatter in our minds, our neighbor’s loud music, or the niggling itch on the ball of our foot. And as luck would have it, the tolerance we cultivate during meditation often shows up as patience in our daily lives. This blog originally appeared on https://emindful.com/home/